Monday, March 28, 2011


Things I will never do:
  1. Marry a country boy. Or own cowboy boots. Or spend my time at rodeos. Sorry.
  2. Stay in one place for too long (as previously discussed).
  3. Tell someone they're worthless.
  4. Ultimately fail.
  5. Repeat history.
  6. Buy an e-reader.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Sunday, March 27, 2011


I'm going to do what everyone else at BYU is doing, done, or going to do over the next few days. Instead of writing my exceedingly important essay for Book of Mormon, I'm choosing in stead to blog about the

.Holi Festival of Colors.

This shindig was seriously like a pilgrimage to Mecca or something, or that's at least what it appeared to be. Thousands upon thousands of people FLOCKING to the Hari Krishna temple of Spanish Fork, Utah and creating a mushroom cloud of color that can be seen from miles away.  It was incredible.

So...I did a really smart thing by putting my camera in a plastic bag, so that it wouldn't, you know, get destroyed. However, this consequences of this manifested themselves in the fact that alot of these came out cloudy. That, and I didn't notice my camera was on storm setting until about halfway through. Lame. But you get the picture.  It was a giant, loud, crazy, dirty hippie love-fest.

And thanks to some of Holly's excellent editing skills, a few of these pictures did end up turning out incredible!

We ran into a few fellow DJ girls!

This was even before we made it there.  Everyone on their way back had leftover chalk and would just throw it in our faces.  I was only literally blinded about 4 times, no big deal.

Aaaaaand I look like an avatar...

So now it's a day later, and here is the aftermath. 6 shampooings later, I still have pink hair.
So...this is not a good thing. I have a concert on Friday, and this stuff is literally not. coming. out. So guess who probably gets to blow 50 bucks this friday to get it all removed?


so. worth. it.

I really loved the focus this festival had on celebrating our individuality as children of God. The festival was hosted by members of a different faith, but by one that, like my own, strives to invite others in and love them. We are all wonderful, and should be reminded of this more often.

Ok. Must go write my essay now, but again it has been a pleasure.

Parting gift.
every last bit of my love, B.

Saturday, March 26, 2011


Things I accomplished today:

1. Passer un examen françias...(mais probablement pas rater) =/
2. Got some swiss cake rolls...yeyuh.
3. Had 3 balanced meals (again)
4. Had my reputation crushed so fast I had no idea what was happening -______-

yeah. this is dry.

5. Pretended to give a presentation about Corn moths and how they relate to the Hardy-Weinberg principle. (Who am I kidding, I hate biology.).....I never thought I would say this, but I am GRATEFUL to have a B- in that class. And I am NOT a B- kind of person. But last time I took a test and I saw that 72 show up on the screen, I actually celebrated to myself. Psychology is the only science I do.

6. BYU Men's chorus joke gents, you were incredible. That Chinese song you sang, my school sang the exact same one 2 years ago.  I almost cried/cheered and embarrassed myself (luckily I did neither of the two) from the nostalgia.

7. Bought a baguette and some Boursin. So I went to Wal-mart first because I thought sure, Walmart's SUPPOSED to have everything. So when I didn't find my Boursin in the refrigerated foods, I went up to the delicatessen and asked the guy "Hello, do you happen to have any Boursin or Camambert?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "" Sorry, Wal-mart. SORRY I have excellent taste.  In cheese. So then I searched more.  Because I'm telling you...when I crave something, even something strange, like's like a pregnant lady craving. I will get what I want ;) I have been craving Brach's raspberry slices (like orange slices) for 3 years since I tried them once and they discontinued them the NEXT MONTH. No worries, I have called the Brach's company only about 4 times, every few weeks, just to make a customer suggestion that they bring them back. I'm so determined.

8. (This is for Holly Henrich. She told me to blog about it.) Finally, In a single knuckle popping session, I managed to pop every single one. This never happens.

So that's about it. Typical Friday (well, not...)


oh heck yes.

so anyway....inspiration.
 quote and picture tonight? I think so.

“I have always believed in numbers, in the equations and logics that lead to reason. And after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask: What truly is logic? Who decides reason? My quest has taken through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional, and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life. It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logical reasons can be found. I am only here tonight because of you. You are the reason I am. You are all my reasons.”

~A Beautiful Mind

(**I....LOVE.....A Beautiful Mind) inspirational message to go with this picture is CAN change for the better ;)
Exhibit A=Joseph Gordon Levitt. Well, there we go! Remember THAT!

Alllllllllll my love, B.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Here I Am.

“Here I am, a bundle of past recollections and
future dreams, knotted up in a reasonably
attractive bundle of flesh. I remember what
this flesh had gone through; I dream of what
it may go through. I record here the
actions of optical nerves, of taste buds, of
sensory perception. And, I think: I am
but one more drop in the great sea of matter,
defined, with the ability to realize
my existence.”

~Sylvia Plath

All my love, B

Friday, March 18, 2011


In my Book of Mormon class, we are given assignments every three weeks or so to respond to one of two assigned topics.  We choose a scripture or a passage of scripture to use, explain, and apply to our lives.  This week's subject was "overcoming trial or hardship"...I found this assignment to be perfectly timed with what's been going on in my life, and I found it very helpful to do this assignment this week.

What I responded was the following:

1) When given this topic I recalled a very comforting passage of scripture from the Doctrine and Covenants (58:2-4) that says that those who keep the commandments and are faithful in tribulation will receive great rewards in the kingdom of heaven.

2) These scriptures were given as a revelation through Joseph Smith at a religious service for those who wanted to know the will of God.  Life in those days was not easy, and it would make perfect sense that the recent converts to the church needed to hear these words to reassure them that the incredible lifestyle change they were making by joining the church was the right decision, and that all that they were enduring or were sure to endure in the future would all be worth it in the end. 

3) "For after much tribulation come the blessings...the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand" (D&C 52:4) This is by far my favorite line from the selection I chose to discuss.  So often we wonder why things are happening to us, why we were given a specific trial, or why we must endure our given circumstances.  There seems to be no point, no reason for our struggling and despair.  The Lord has promised us that when we make it to the other side of our trial and remain faithful throughout, that we will receive blessings and become much better, stronger, and wiser people as a result.  The Lord never breaks His promises.  He also wants us to receive these blessings and see us come out on top.  He has given us the tools we need to make it through our trials, and He wants to see us put these tools to use.  Through prayer and faith on the Lord we can make it through anything and receive the blessings He has in store for us.'s time to be happy.

On a different note, I officially have 6% saved of what I need to go to Paris! Now what I need is a job...

If anybody has any connections whatsoever to a well-paying job that I could take just for the summer, I will love you forever.  Preferably some sort of clerical or secretarial or primarily sit-down job, I'm not really supposed to stand for very long. (I do in fact, have a legitimate medical poor knee would hate me standing 6 hours straight again this summer) However, If that is all that's available, I will take it! Any help at all would be so much appreciated!

In parting,

bonne nuit and much love, B

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Greetings loves

I am getting skilled at this blogging thing. Regretfully, my schedule has kept me from posting as often as I would like but here I am!

I would like to direct your attention to the brand new playlist just added to this blog :) just a few of my very favorites...or 52 of them. You know how it goes. But enjoy!

Anyway....Things I have accomplished this week!! (according to this post my week begins on Saturday, March 12)

1. Saturday-Went to grandparents and my family showed up!! FINALLY.
2. Stayed the night...went and saw Beastly and got lost 82374 times on the way to the theatre.  Word of advice: DO NOT go see this movie. Alex Pettyfer is gorgeous....and Neil Patrick Harris is a genius...but that's 2 hours I'll never get back.

3. Sunday- Woke up and came to church with the whole gang (Self, Sister, Sister, Brother, Mother, Father, Grandmother, Grandfather, Cousin.) and basically took up an entire row.
4. Sang :) Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing! Thanks and so much love and appreciation to Rachel and Caroline, Katrina, Cole and Peter, Ben and Stephen, Josh and David for bearing with me and helping me to put the musical number together. It meant so very much to me.
****SIDE NOTE: Did you know that they're putting this song back into the LDS Hymnal? Great wonderful amazing news :) I love it!

5.Monday-Went to work and then took Shelby to classes with me. Poor thing, My classes were not overall very entertaining today.  She participated to the best of her ability during French and got some neato evolution handouts from Biology (I would like to point out that I just used the word neato.)
6. Homework...meh.
7. ROCK CLIMBING! Ok so it was thoroughly embarassing, since I havent gone in so long and my crippled dumb leg screwed me up sometimes but I actually did better than I thought! Basically...forarms...still a tad dead. But Corinne/Karrin/Shelby/Me got some pretty awesomely epic (creepy) pictures of ourselves climbing and felt quite boss-like.
8. Started slumdog (It's edited! Calm down!)

9. Tuesday-Psych Study! Yes I am going to be a bit of a lab rat for the rest of my career.  It is required for each of my psych classes that I get a certain number of credits of research participation for each class. So I've already done my 6 required credits for History of Psych so now I just do them for money! Psssttt...Yes! It's BYU's best kept secrets! Want an easy 10 bucks for an hour of your time? you qualify for a study (read the description) you can get money for your time and participation! These scientists need you to complete their studies.  They're usually either for legitimate research being conducted by licensed psychologists who are trying to discover more about the people here on campus, or by students conducting research for their graduation requirements! Either way, your participation makes a big difference!


10. Communal.  Incredible restaurant. Another well-kept Provo secret.  This food is delicious.  The menu changes seasonally in order to keep the ingredients as fresh as can be and all products used are local.  It is a great restaurant, cute cute CUTE decor, a fun concept, and....Kangan water! (To help rid your body of toxins and impurities...been rumored to cure arthiritis?) A word of advice though: If you would like to come to Communal, make sure you are ready for the check.  I'm sure my dad doesn't want me to know this, but after tip and everything, feeding 8 people broke $200. Just be aware. It was a great night though to spend with people I love!

11. The Y. This...was my favorite activity so far. Andrea (cousin) and her boyfriend Brad took us hiking.  I have done this before but last time it was in the dead heat of the summer, and so this was so much more enjoyable.  We went after the sun went down and it wasn't even that cold! It was going to just be cousin, cousin's boyfriend, sisters, and I.  But then at the last second I decided to invite my friend scott! It was so great to have another person there, and we had fun holding Brad's adorable puppy on our way down, since we could tell she was having a hard time.  But the city of Provo (let's be honest, it's not a beautiful city) looked incredible from way up there. And it was so peaceful! body felt great after! The funnest (don't tell me, I know that's not a real word), was that Andrea let me drive her car! There wasn't enough room for us all so I got the wheel :) it's been awhile since I've driven so that felt great. We also went to Smith's after and got ice cream (thanks Brad!) and...I bought...THE SOCIAL NETWORK YESSSSS.

........that's about it :)

Anyway I am so so glad my family is here. So very happy! It will be so sad to see them leave.  I think our plans for the rest of the week are for me to show them....

1. Campus/Bookstore (for Shelby)
2. Cocoa Bean cafe
2. Salt Lake and Gateway ($$$) :)

So that will be fun.  I just calculated it and...38 DAYS UNTIL TEXAS!!!

I have so many goals for this summer....But they are too far and in between and lengthy to discuss on this post.  I have taken enough of your time already.  Or perhaps not.  I doubt you actually made it this far, but if you did, many thanks!

In pating: I know this all too well. Take this advice and live it. You are worth so much more than you think :)

All my love, B

Friday, March 11, 2011

ok and while I'm thinking about it.

The following are things I need to figure out:

1. Budgeting
2. Sleeping
3. My future plans with Psychology
4. Exercise
5. Why the junk that stupid kid is still on my brain.
6. This may seem extremely forward, but it has been brought to my attention that there are people on BYU campus who are LEGAL ADULTS, FROM UTAH, that have yet to learn the mechanics of how babies are made. So, also wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy would  a parent ever keep their kid in the dark for so long? That ones more just an annoyance.  I will never figure out that kind of logic.

These are the things I have kind of figured out as of today:

#1-I LOVE CREYTN CROSBY for taking time to come up with a spreadsheet for me.  I still don't have a whole lot of money, but the fact that I now know exactly where I need to put it...I can not tell you how relieving that is.
#3- Helping people. That's the name of the game, and will be the essence of my life.

Ok as of now I really am going to go to bed. Actually that's a lie. I just looked at my planner and realized I haven't even started homework yet.  I've been to busy laughing and eating shrimpy cup of noodles that smell like dead things.

of course i have to add a random, meet my darlings Jemaine and Bret. Flight of the Conchords, you do make my heart sing. 

Ok Ciao (pfft, Italy. Don't ask.) sweet dreams&stuff.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


Why hello there! These are the various reasons I am glad today is happening!

1. I PASSED BIOLOGY TEST. Sure, I only got a 72, and that doesn't sound really great or anything, BUT out of 100 questions on a freaking like 35 page test that took me 2 hours and 45 minutes, I got 72 of them right! AAANNNNDDDD with the curve it's going to end up as a high B! Ok so that's awesome :) and on a similar note...I made a really good (well kind of good, but it was a point above average, so I'm saying its good) grade on my Psych essay test!

2. Slept through most of my classes today. Sure, my quiz average in french is going to go significantly down, because I keep missing them, but I got to sleep. Now I'm going to ask everyone to make sure I never do this again. Because seriously, I can't.

3. Maybe going to see MUMFORDANDSONS/TALLESTMANONEARTH...MAYBE. in vegas, april 15 :)

4. I quit one of my jobs. Finally I can (hopefully) get past this insomnia.  I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but the last couple of months I have had clinical insomnia, with medication and everything.  I'm still not doing very well in that department of my life, and let me tell's been making everything very difficult. Sometimes I start crying just thinking about how trapped awake I've been. It is literally one of the most frightening things I've ever been through.  Stay awake for 3 days straight someday and then you'll understand, I guarantee it.  I'm hoping that by quitting this job, I can be that closer to the other end of this trial. It will help me to manage my time better, hopefully get better grades, and lift my spirits for the last month that I"m here.

(^^^LET IT BE KNOWN. I do not know this man. But his face is literally the exact same as how I've been feeling...not fun.)

5. Currently planning a road trip to San Antonio (my favorite place on earth) with my loved ones, Stephanie and Sydney! Crossing my fingers that we'll actually get to go! We can see the temple, the riverwalk, my old home, and just drive listen to music and love each other and life!!!!

6. Finally saw How To Train Your Dragon.  Ummm.......SOCUTE.

7. Completely random and certainly not that exciting...yesterday I actually had 3 complete balanced meals! (ps. This never happens.  EVER.) All I do is snack on stuff because that's really all I have time for.  But I felt really great about it yesterday!!

8. Mary Kay business...I haven't done much with it the past few weeks because I've been focusing on school and finishing up my other job, but it's teaching me alot, and I hope I can learn alot about budgeting so I can get to PARIS!! PARISPARISPARIS.

9. Ok, can we just talk about this WEATHER today??!??!?! Absolutely beautiful. We broke 60 degrees today I'm sure, and I didn't even wear any jacket at all! LOOVED it.  I just wish I got to spend more time in it! I was either sleeping or in class or at work...meh.  But still! Just walking in it was heavenly, and really put everyone in a good mood.

10. The countdown continues! My beautiful amazing wonderful good looking family is coming day after tomorrow! YAaAaaaaAy!!! I get to see them all, go out to dinners and movies, get the heck away from campus for a bit, Hope so! I need some Urban back in my life :)

The following is a collection of pictures of them...they are awesome :)

Ok so you already got my "I'm glad" segment of the day....10 of them, in fact.  So here's my "I wish".

I wish my stupid knee would heal already.  Like it goes back and forth between being ok (but always kind of weak) and then just being the most intense pain I've ever felt.  I have severe tendonitis and major inflammation under my right kneecap, and it's really difficult to walk on stairs, or walk in general sometimes. Before you ask, NO. I did not ever injure it. Please, I don't play sports or snowboard or anything else that could have traumatized it.  Except work, standing up for 6 hours straight. But I know that 9729309809823040982384 bajillion other people in the world do the exact same thing, so I don't really know what's happening.  Been to the doctors and the physical therapist (I could definitely be doing my exercises more often), got the X-rays and MRI's, but apparently it doesn't look severe enough to do anything drastic to fix it, but just keep going... but life is life. All I can say is...THANK GOODNESS for tendonitis bands and Kinesiotape. Literally you save me every day. So I guess I'm glad for you too. :)


There's no real message. But this is a picture that certainly keeps me going ;) You are SO welcome!

Anyway, off to finally do the things that I should be doing.  Like...homework. You know...the reason I'm here in Utah and not back at home...yeah that stuff. Meh.

All my love, B.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

one week left?

Why hello everyone! So currently I am sitting on my bed in the cave...I mean room that Corinne and I share this year.  Basically, the deal with today is...I finally got sick. Kind of. It's not terrible by any means but you know how when you're going going going for so long that you don't have time to get sick and then when you finally get two seconds to slow down, your body takes full advantage and you are practically bed ridden? Yeah....

I woke up at a ridiculous hour to go to a work meeting for a job that I already quit, but haven't quite finished working there yet.  Next week is my last.  So I had to wake up after 5ish hours of sleep and then walk 20 minutes up to the Wilk to sit there and listen to why I should F.O.C.U.S. on the job. Which, good info, but 8 am? On a Saturday? Comeonplease. But hey, I got paid and a free donut so I'm chill. I walked home and then immediately fell asleep, I honestly think I sleepwalked halfway home. So I don't even remember crawling back into bed but 3 hours later when Rebecca came to wake me up and tell me they wanted to go to the mall, I sat up and realized I was going nowhere today.  I feel like I got hit by a train!  Like nothing specifically hurts, but everything does, and my brain doesn't really feel like working too hard.  Could be problematic with the fact that I have 3 tests on Monday....hmmmm....I'll have to get studying later tonight, but I'm feeling another nap coming on.


Question #2.

If you knew you only had 1 week left to live, how and with whom would you spend it?

I can confidently say that I would drop everything right now and fly back home tomorrow.  It's not like my money is going to passed on to somebody at this point if I died, so I wouldn't mind spending all of it just to get home.  My last week of living will be spent in the company of the people I love.  I would spend every last second with my family and best friends, doing things that really matter.  I would have my dad take me skydiving, I would take a road trip to San Antonio and spend an entire day in the place where I was born. The Riverwalk I have decided, is not technically the most visually pleasing place in the Universe (although it is by no means unattractive) but it has such vibrance and such an alive spirit that it really is the most beautiful place I have ever been.  I feel at home every time I go back.  Every year before or after efy, I would insist that a few hours be spent there, because I just feel so at peace there.  It's odd, I don't know why.  I didn't even live there for that long, but home means something different to every individual, and that place is mine.

I would see every movie I want to, read as many books as possible, and try to learn as much before I go.  I am a firm believer that any knowledge gained during this life goes with you into the next, and if I knew I was about to leave this world, I would want to fill my brain with as much knowledge as possible. 

The thought occured to me just now that I might try and repent for everything I may have forgotten right before so that I'm perfectly unspotted when I reach Heaven. I don't really think it would be a particularly good thing if I tried to fix all my mistakes and repent for everything I've done right before I die, that sort of seems like cheating the system to me...which isn't using the Atonement in the way that it was intended.  The whole point is to be making those changes as you and continually improving your life so that you don't have that massive panic of trying to fix everything.  So hopefully when I realize my life is almost over, I am in the position to not be worried and be fully confient that "I have done everything I need to do, I'll be fine". In any case, however, I will try and make any improvements I can :)

I would try and give everyone I know, like or dislike, a compiment. A truly sincere, heartfelt statement that will make their day brighter.  I know alot of people say that they would go around and tell everyone exactly what they think of them, which could be quite exhilarating.  But I don't think it would be good to leave this life destroying the lives of others, even if you're being perfectly honest.  So instead, I would still be perfectly honest and tell everyone some good quality they have.  Because everyone has some good in them.  I would particularly focus on the people I don't like, and try to find something to tell them that is positive.  People who have hurt me, said vicious things, stolen things from me, stolen people from me, broken my heart....I can think of the list right now.  But I know that each of them have something good worth mentioning, and that would be my other goal.

I would write my family members letters thanking them for everything, I would sit down with them all one by one to tell them the impact they've had in my life, and I would run to my best friends and do the exact same. 

I would also cry.  Alot. But I am human.


Today I wish.....It was one week from today.  My family will be about 6 hours away from here, and continually getting closer every minute, right now, 7 days from now.  (I couldn't have said that sentence in a more confusing way.) I cannot wait to see their faces. I also wish that every time I went to the mailbox I wasn't disappointed.  Its been almost 3 weeks.  I shouldn't even be expecting anything and I never should have in the first place, but it would be nice to just get a simple notice, even a single sentence, indicating that I still exist to you. But have fun, please do. From the bottom of my heart I hope you're enjoying life to the fullest and making a difference in the lives of others. At this point in life, I know I shouldn't expect to matter anything to you at all, but deep down (well....not that deep actually) I really wish that I still did.

Today I'm glad I got to take a breather.  A sickly, uncomfortable one, but a breather all the same.  I am so exhausted.......I just hope I can motivate myself later tonight to study for that dang bio exam and French exams (yes, french exams in the plural, on the same day.)

But for's How I Met Your Mother/naptime.

favorite pictures time.  Not really gonna explain them today, but just let you look and enjoy :)

Apologies for that visual sensory overload, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same :)

All my love, B.