Friday, March 4, 2011

pure ambition.

I have found the solution to cure my randomness in blogging!

Introducing...THE LIST.

Each day, I will answer one of the questions on a very interesting and deep thinking list of personal questions.


Question 1. What did you dream of becoming when you were younger?

WELLLL (Antoine Dodson voice)

It may surprise you but when I was younger, in elementary school, all I wanted to be was a 2nd grade teacher.  What on earth was I thinking? Could you imagine me in that position? Coming to a grade school with messy pictures on the wall (which of course every child considers equal to Picasso's genius) every morning at a ridiculous hour, holding parent/teacher conferences, leading show and tell, simplifying complex ideas to help people understand them, enriching the young minds of tomorrow?

Let me reassure you...I could never do that.  I commend those who have turned their lives over to educating children, for it is certainly not an easy task.  I volunteered in a classroom last semester to fulfill a requirement for my American Heritage class, and....I don't know how Mrs. Toluta'u does it, but she's somehow able to, in a matter of seconds, turn a group of 30 rambunxious (sp?) wild, curious young children into an attentive group of illectuals who actually want to learn.  She chooses her words wisely, she is precise and she gets the point across to those kids in a way I could never dream of doing. 

Now don't get me wrong, I have been known to poke fun at the Elementary Education majors of BYU, because stereotypically those are the ones who have just declared an "easy major" and are just here at school to find a husband and then drop out.  But those of you who do make it through and get a job as an educator, congratulations.  Truly.  You have a skill that many lack, including myself.  One day I will have to learn some of these lessons just in order to raise my own children, and I hope I can follow your examples.  I also hope that day is way, WAY in the future.  I certainly do not have the life skills necessary to raise or educate a child now, but I hope with time and maturity I can.

My plans now are so completely different from back then.  I still want to have a career where I can help people, and that has never changed.  But now the intent of my help is a bit different.  I aim to fix, not educate.  I want to graduate as a Psychology major and enter a Marriage and Family Therapy graduate program so that I can open my own private practice and heal broken families.  Maybe that still falls under the category of eduation, because I'm teaching others how and hopefully giving them the skills necessary to live a healthy and effective family life, but my main objective is to help and heal.  You could maybe consider it a character flaw of my own that I take on other people's problems and have a really hard time accepting help in solving my own, but if I know that is my true nature I want to expound on it and truly help to change the world.  It may not ever alleviate my stress level but if it can help somebody lessen theirs and bring happiness back into their lives and relationships, that will make me happy.

The family is so broken in today's society. I won't lie, I guess you could say I'm a bit more liberal than others of my own faith.  I don't really have a problem with different kinds of families, mainly because I just love people.  I love learning about them and how they live their lives.  I don't have to accept others' lifestyles as my own but I refuse to make someone feel bad about their lives if they're not hurting me or anyone else.  My entire life philosophy revolves around the idea that you should love the people, not the specific choices they make.  I love tolerance.  I mean, I am myself a follower of a very misunderstood faith, and many people would never understand why I choose to believe or follow what I do, but who are they to tell me that I'm wrong? For that exact same reason, Who am I to tell them that they're wrong?  My goal in my future career is to help people heal themselves, not change who they essentially are.  Like I said, I love people.  I want them to find joy in life, and as long as they're enjoying it in a way that brings happiness to themselves and the world around them, and aren't doing harmful or unlawful things, then my job is done.  That may be an interesting way to look at things, especially as a Latter Day Saint, but again as I said, I don't have to adopt lifestyle choices that are not in agreement with my faith, I just have to heal their wounded hearts. 

I hope that makes sense :)

Now other things I want to do with my life....I really really really want to minor in French or French teaching.  Over these past 2 and a half months, I have fallen head over heels for this language and I want to immerse myself in learning every last bit of it.  I can now pray in french, and it is so wonderful that we can access our Heavenly Father in any language we know, and it still means just as much to Him if we are sincere. Whenever I sing songs in my head or hum them at work or on my way to class, I try to translate them as much as I can.  I'm probably completely wrong 29384%  of the time, but it is so much fun.  I am so glad that the language center in your brain is located in the same spot as the math and calculating center, because my skill at math has definitely spilled over into the logical, puzzle-building aspect of language learning.  Who knows? Maybe I'll switch majors to Linguistics.  Probably not, but I cannot tell you HOW MUCH I have just fallen in love with this new skill.  Just think! Once becoming fluent, I can communicate effectively with people on the other side of the WORLD, in their native tongue! I don't know why this excites me so much, but I have always been fascinated with other cultures, and I can't wait to be super skilled in participating in the French culture.  Like my post about future travel aspirations of my life said, Paris...I'm coming for you. Spring 2012.  You will teach me more than I could ever hope to learn.

I just want to end tonight by telling everyone that today has been truly blessed. It was certainly one of my more busy days.  Work, class, work, choir concert, and I was literally running from place to place to place to place, but it was so rewarding.

REALZQUICK! (I wish/I'm glad segment for today)
I wish I had had a few seconds to just pause and reflect on my Book of Mormon class today.  We learned about 3 Nephi 17 where Jesus is getting ready to leave His people in the Americas, and they are pleading for Him to stay.  I can imagine that if I was in their situation, I would have done the same.  To have been so blessed to have spent minutes, hours, DAYS in the presence of our Saviour, learning from Him face to face, I would never ever want Him to go.  So for one last day, to show them His pure love for them and just simple enjoyment at being with them, He went forth and blessed everyone who was sick, afflicted in any manner, or sad, and made every last one of them whole.  That was seriously one of the greatest lessons I have ever been in.  You know when reading the scriptures, you often just read the words and don't really get into the true meaning until you sit in class and it is explained to you, or you read a study manual, or you go to seminary, or you participate in a gorup discussion? Well when I read this chapter before class, I actually studied it.  I took the time to grasp every emotion from the text, I read the white parts on the page.  I read it in French to gain even more insight.  The Book of Mormon is an incredible piece of literature, and anybody who has yet to do their own personal study, I would get on that.  It will change your life.

And finally...I'm sorry to seem redundant but I am SO grateful to be in Women's chorus at BYU! This is silly, but I somewhat feel like a celebrity! Out of the 36 thousand students at BYU, I am one of 500 voices that make up the Choir program overall, and one of 180 in the Women's choir.  Today at our concert, we went and hosted a festival for women's choirs in the area with younger voices from Junior High and High Schools and then finished off the night with our own songs. I cannot tell you how inspired it was.  First of all, it was so fun to hear from all the other amazing choirs that night!  Utah is so talented! It is true, us Mormz are trained from the age of -5 to be excellent musicians, and you could certainly tell! A Junior High won tonight! 12 and 13 year olds! Congratulations, Mapleton JHS! But Womens Chorus finale....I swear our performance transcended into a higher level of comprehension of beauty.  We were all so nervous because there were bits and pieces of the song we didn't know perfectly, but we pulled it off without a flaw onstage.  Our standing ovation started DURING the song, and I have never felt so freed by music before!  Plus our song was just plain FUN to sing!! For anybody desiring a treat for their ears, Youtube "Ain't No Grave Can Hold My Body Down" (women's arrangement).  It is a spiritual that is wild, fast, and indescribably uplifting.

OHWAIT. i found one, here ya go ;) GOGOGOwatchwatchwatchlistenlove.

Whew! That I wish/I'm glad segment took up much more space than I planned! But alas, it is now 1 a.m. here in Utah, and my day starts bright and early tomorrow.  But it's the weekend! YESSS!!! I get to teach my new Mary Kay recruit, Melissa's, first skin care class and then go see my new favorite disney movie, Tangled.  Yay perseverance! It's been a difficult week, but I am ready for some fun :)

I have held your attention for far too long.  Or maybe I haven't.  Maybe you stopped reading long ago.  But if you're still here, allow me to keep you for one moment longer.  Inspirational picture of the day!

This man is my new hero. Motoi Yamamato is the creator if this exquisit French exhibit.  A maze created entirely of grains of salt. He had to place each and every last one of those grains one by one to create this masterpiece.  Just goes to show by diligence, patience and strict attention to detail, you can create the most incredible works of art, or accomplishments in general!  "...that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass;" (Alma 37:6)

p.s. I kinda feel awesome right now, blogging as I'm listening to the musical score of The Social Network. Acadamy Award winning and awesome and ironic and sillyfun.


Goodnight everyone!


Megansue said...

I was reading this while I was eating breakfast. Laughing, and tearing up. And my roommate walked out and thought I was having some type of spaz attack. I informed her that I was just reading a brilliant work of art. Then she understood.

Jennifer Anne Marie McKay said...

Brittany, I love your blog. A lot.