Sunday, February 27, 2011



Anthropologie has a new wedding line? Ok....this is incredible.  I'm not even remotely interested in getting married at all right now. (Stereotypical BYU girl? Not me.)

BUT I've had my wedding planned probably since I was about 12. But every girl does so that's okay.

Let's just talk about this dress for a few seconds though. Like really.
And can we talk about how its only 1600 and I already have 1000 of it in my possession? soobsessedrightnow. I am completely in love with the Snow White dress.

and no matter what....these will be incorporated into whatever I decide to wear ;)

Now onto the more important reason why I am blogging today.  I have been thinking so much about life and the future lately.  I think that it was never in my design to stay in one place for too long.  I want to be everywhere and do so much with my life.  Too much, I think.  I think that's party of my problem as to why I'm never satisfied...I want everything I see and I want to do everything I hear about. 

One day I will travel the world. Right now the goal is Paris.  I am going to study abroad hopefully next year.  The fact that the only thing holding me back is the money (which I WILL earn) is almost too exciting to handle sometimes.  Paris, France, I'm coming for you. Spring 2012.

After graduation I will move to New England and live so close to the beach that my hair contains a constant reasonable amount of sea salt.  I want to be within walking distance of the endless sea, go jogging in the morning to a soundtrack of the sun, finally get a tan, go sailing, and live free.

After this....all I want is to grow old in the true hippie lifestyle of my loves in Sedona, Arizona. I want to live in the fresh air and watch the sunrise in its purest form every morning, take long walks in the sunkissed rocks of the majestic mountains. I will eat at Elote once a week and visit the beautiful Native American flea markets and truly become one with nature. What's a better way to live out my old age than that?

so many thoughts of today :) ahhhhh

I can't wait for what lies ahead. Really.
Today was a wonderful day at church and I cannot wait to perform our Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing octet that is so dear to my heart!

This week has really helped to remind me how essential the gospel is in my life.  Again, SUCH a testimony of the power of fasting and prayer and I want to thank everybody, my family and my dear friends for being so patient with me. It is time to be immersed in the gospel and see the light in the world.

I am also starting my postly segment (I would say daily but since the fact of the matter is I probably won't post every day as much as I would like to, we're calling it postly) that tells one thing that I wish would happen and one thing that I am glad happened/is happening.

I've been thinking about my life from January 2010 until February 2011...or now and...
Today I wish I had slapped him when I had the chance.
I'm also glad I didn't.

This is officially an absurdly long post, and I am grateful to everyone who stuck with me through all of my random outbursts of thought and my crazy dreams, and this is by no means even the half of it, but now you know :) I have big plans, big wishes, and big things to be thankful for.

Until next time, hopefully tomorrow,
Love always B.

p.s. Here's just another beautiful thing for you to look at as you depart. Gaspard Ulliel, who ironically is a breathtakingly gorgeous french man :) lovelove.

k goodbye

Friday, February 25, 2011


“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."

    I Like this quote I dislike this quote“Smile when it hurts most"

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again."

I've decided to bring the blog back. Writing helps so much.  I've got my paper journal which has been written in and added to so that now it looks like it's about to exlode.

I would love from the bottom of my heart to be able to say that all is well, but it is so very much not. But I now have the tools I need to take control of my circumstances and change them for the better.  I will.  I love my fantastic neighbors and incredible roommate who pull me back up from the bottom. 

I'm learning the value of asking for help.  I don't like to ask for it very often.  I don't like to burden people with my sadness and incompetences so i just keep them to myself.  I'm learning to ask for help, a skill I've never had or considered before but I'm realizing now more than ever that during this extremely scary and overwhelming time that you cannot go it alone. 

Everything will be ok.

I love the Lord.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  I love my sisters (related and non-related).  I love my baby brother.

I will be better, feel better, and do better. I promise.