Sunday, September 30, 2012


Another feelings post. Head's up.

I guess you could call today another one of those uphill days. I talked earlier about how there are some days when I am absolutely certain that this is not my ball game and I am totally out of my zone this year? Exhibit A: September 30, 2012. 

After a long week of literally working myself into the ground and the onset of my annual start-of-cold-weather sickness, followed by a long morning of church meetings, I was able to come home early and sleep it all off a little.

So this evening I went to eat at my aunt's house
(By aunt, I mean my honorary Utah-aunt, Char, who was my roommate in France and lives with her darling husband in Draper. It's easier to just refer to her as my aunt than launching into the complicated story about how she uprooted her entire happily married life for six and a half weeks to study in France without her husband... so Char's just my aunt. Good? Good.)

The main point of this post is this:
When I came home after dinner and tried to go to our ward's weekly waffle party, I was finally able to put into words an off-feeling I've been having since the beginning of the semester.

I don't know what I could be doing different, or better, and I really want to...but I feel so disconnected.
I know it's my responsibility to get out there and get to know people, and socialize and set the best possible example. But I'm worried I'm giving off some air of unavailability or disinterest, and it absolutely breaks my heart when I think that I might be conducting myself in a way that makes people feel like I don't want to know what is going on in their lives.

I guess at this point, I just want to make it abundantly clear that I want nothing more than to know you.
My life is a hectic, crazy mess at the moment, but I want to be a good leader, an available, loving, righteous example of a leader too.

I want everyone to know the following: 
even though I've been assigned to and accepted a role of leadership and high scrutiny,

I am just like you. I can't stress this enough.
I buy tickets to go to see Imagine Dragons and Awolnation and completely forget that the General Relief Society broadcast is the same night.
I'm a pretty terrible driver.
My face looks like a pepperoni pizza at the moment.
I have She's the Man pajama party movie nights with my best friends.
I'm not perfect. In fact, I'll come right out and say it: 
If I haven't done it, I can guarantee I've wanted to.
I have an extensive list of very real, very scary skeletons in my proverbial closet.  I have worked day and night to overcome these things for years and years, but I still have off days. So please understand that if you catch me red-handed wearing something I shouldn't or saying something less-than-acceptable, please understand that this a mistake, and no longer a habit.
So for this reason,
I'll never judge you.  Literally. There is 100% absolutely nothing you could possibly say that would take me by surprise or make me think you're less of a person. Unless you, like, chainsaw massacred an entire village while cracked up on cocain. Or something like that. But I don't see this being an issue.
Yes, I'm stressed, but that doesn't make me unavailable. I average a cool 3-4 hours of sleep per night, thanks to homework and my uncanny ability to stall until the last second, but it's in the job description to be always happy and willing to talk.  And I absolutely am.  If I am doing my job to do everything in my power to put a smile on your face, everything else will inevitably take care of itself. Don't ever feel like you're putting another thing on my plate by wanting to come over and have a conversation.  
Any step towards a new friendship is never a waste of time.

As I mentioned in my About me tab,
I already love you, even if I don't know you yet.
From the bottom of my heart, this is absolutely true.

I've had a pathetic lack of photos here on the blog for the past little while, so I guess since I haven't officially unveiled my new darker and shorter hair, hereyago:

cute friends at the ID concert in SLC
shirt: F21, 

weekend trip to grandpa's medical conference
Shirt: Cotton On sunglasses:rayban

Fun friends on the lawn watching the Holy War game
shirt: UO

Go get a good night's sleep to end this beautiful, warm Sunday, and get ready for another awesome week!
All my love, B.

Thursday, September 27, 2012


A brief introduction to the music that is going to keep me company during my long hours of homework and research this afternoon.

Discovered this gem thanks to this cute blog

Already planning on making a hipster-esque video montage to this song as I'm driving down the Provo canyon roads in various weather conditions.

To be played at my wedding, no doubt.

Shared previously on this blog, but I just will never get over that instrumental. Brings tears to my eyes almost every time. Or goosebumps at the very least.

So forgive me for jumping on this bandwagon, but I really can't wait to go see this concert on Saturday

Love love love.

I can't handle his twangy voice on every song, but oh my lands this one is breathtaking


All my love, B.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Would you forgive me...

That my blog doesn't really have a format, and I never actually really plan on that happening?
No day-of-the-week posts, "fashion fridays" or anything like that?
Birdie in Paris is just me and my random rants, if that's ok.

That I'm the most awkward person alive, and I had every girl's worst nightmare happen to me today?
I won't mention it here because it's wayyyyyy TMI, but let's just say it had very much to do with this time of the month and we'll just leave it at that.

If I said I'm sorry for not being the most devoted blogger? 
Because honestly I'm kind of dying over here...with 6 classes, 1 and a half jobs, RSP duties and whatnot...
Can't do it all people, but I can sure try.

But in the meantime, just listen to the beauty that is Marcus Mumford et al. during my absence.

And read and appreciate the following news:
Yes, my days of -6.75 prescription are coming to an end!

All my love, B.

Provo Treasure Hunt

Hello, friends!

But I must start with a question.
You went on a fantastic and adventurous treasure hunt taking place just outside your front door?

What would you do with a prize so grand and amazing as this?!

Yes, that's right! That's $5,000 cold hard cash that has literally been HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN TOWN.

How would you spend it?
I know I would use it to get myself right on the plane back to France and allow myself an indulgent shopping spree at the Galeries de Lafayette.

But that's not the point of this post.  The point is to tell you

Here are the ridiculously easy steps:
-First and foremost, understand that this is for FUN and is absolutely, without question, 100% free to participate

-Sign up by doing one of the following: 
1) Email Duncan at
2) Follow @ProvoTreasure on Twitter
3) Friend Provo Treasure Hunt on Facebook

-Duncan is giving away an EXCLUSIVE FIRST HINT if you follow these easy steps HERE

-Clues start coming THIS FRIDAY (September 28) and continue until the $5,000 is found! So stay tuned!

-If you want a clue a day early, go to the kickoff event at North Park in Provo (500 N 500 W) at 6:00 p.m.!

-Along the way, you'll be able to find mini-prizes to make life in Provo a little more fun! (This includes cases of Coca-Cola, Pass of all Passes to Seven Peaks, and Gift Certificates to Pizza Pie Cafe) Everyone's a winner!

-And as always, refer back to for clues and questions!

What an incredible opportunity everyone! What poor starving college kid DOESN'T want/need an extra 5 grand? I know I sure do. 

So let's start channeling our inner Sherlock Holmses and Jack Sparrows and get this treasure found!

All my love, B.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Les Mis 2

Sorry for two Les Misérables posts in the same month but

Let the counting down and hyperventilation ensue!
December 14 can't come fast enough!

All my love, B.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Exactly what I needed.

Today, in lieu of the regular three hour block of church meetings, everyone in the area gathered in various meeting houses for a Regional Conference.

Over a hundred stakes (a group of wards.....for questions on the LDS lingo, please click "I do believe" tab) participated in this incredible event.

It was so powerful to walk into BYU's Marriott Center and see THIS:

There were several amazing talks, including those on the importance of family and temple work, but the talk that really hit home was that of Elder Dallin H. Oaks and his absolutley adorable wife.

(google images)

Pretty much any given talk given by a General Authority at these sort of meetings ALWAYS gets on the topic of how badly the Young Single Adults in the church need to be working with all their energy towards marriage, and so often I feel chastised for not having found "the one." But not today.

Elder Oaks introduced his wife to share a brief message, and I cannot tell you the amount of comfort this provided me.  This beautiful, adorable, spiritual giant of a woman did everything she was supposed to, and did not find her eternal companion until the age of 53.  53!! Can you imagine wanting to get married your entire life, and nothing working out till you're halfway to a hundred?! I think I would give up from discouragement.  But Heavenly Father had a special plan for this lady, and even though she had to wait, look who she ended up with! A disciple of the Lord! One of the greatest spiritual leaders alive today! The Lord has a plan in store for us that we cannot even begin to comprehend.

In addition to Elder Oaks' adorable analogy comparing finding an eternal companion to finding "a jacket that fits," he said something else incredibly comforting as well.  

I have had my share of breakups and unreciprocated (is that even a word? Yes. It is today) feelings, and it is always so discouraging to throw yourself full heart, mind, and body into the well being of another person, just to end up feeling like they don't care.  

The take away message from Elder Oaks, though, is this: If we are living the way we should, we will be blessed with the faith to endure and trust in the Lord's timing. 

We CANNOT control the agency of another person.  So when you think you've found the one but they don't seem to feel the same way, we don't have the ability to truly change their mind.  But we can have the faith to endure until we find something better.  Something or someone that deserves our full heart.  We will never lose blessings because someone else's agency doesn't align with our own. Just like for Sister Oaks, the Lord has a special person in store for each and every one of us.  If I work my hardest to turn myself into the best possible person I can be, I will receive all the wonderful blessings in store for me.

What a comforting message! I didn't feel chastised, or that I wasn't living up to my end of the deal by still being single.  I felt hope about the situation, a kind of rejuvenating hope I haven't felt in a long time.
 Let us all be the best we can, married or single, to attain all the blessings we have in store.

All my love, B.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

So you think you can win in an awkward game against me?

Doubt it.

I was awoken by a loud knock on the door in my really grungy red plaid pajama pants and XXL size BYU freshman mentoring shirt by a guy friend who thought he left his keys at our apartment the night before....only 30 seconds later to go to the mirror and find that surprisingly my hair looked great, but I had 3 volcanic zits show up over night and my eye makeup that I had forgotten to wash off the night before was pretty Corpse Bride-esque.

Then I had to walk all over south Provo to get to work in my sexy no-slip shoes and t-shirt that was embarrassingly flour stained....

Then at work I had one of the girls come up to me and say, "hey you're my RS President, right?" and I had no idea who she was! I need to study my ward directory hardcore these next few weeks....

Then like every other guest that came in, I said "thank you" when it was appropriate to say "you're welcome" and vice versa....

Then I realized I've developed a half crush on this person, and with my extraordinary talent of being clumsy and tongue tied at the most inappropriate occasions...that encounter just had awkward written all over it.

Then I raced to my RS meeting after being held up on campus too late, stumbling in 10 minutes after the meeting started and to my horror being the only person not in Sunday dress. Guess I missed that memo....

Then some friends came over and broke a cardinal rule in telling me that my roots were growing out and that I needed to re-dye my hair, which I had already been planning on doing! Really?! You're not supposed to comment on a woman's weight, age, or hair (unless it's complimentary, of course.)

I'm just going to go curl up in a little ball of awkwardness at the foot of my bed for the next nine years now.  See ya flipside.

Here are some other awkward things for you to look at, while we're on the subject.  It makes me feel better about myself...

-all from google images.

All my love, B.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Vegan Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Hey lovelies! So I've never done a food post before, but today I decided to do some random experimenting and I came up with something kind of cool! Check 'em out! 

(nasty iPhone picture-sorry! They're so good! I promise!)

So if you want a really delicious and super sweet chocolate chip oatmeal cookie, but don't want to feel super guilty after eating one or two or seven.....follow this recipe!

1/2 cup Xylitol (I used Xyla brand)
1/2 cup Sugar in the Raw
1/2 cup solid, room temperature coconut oil (I used Nutiva brand)
1/2 cup almond butter (I used MaraNatha brand)
Instead of eggs-4 tablespoons water, 2 tablespoons melted coconut oil, 2 teaspoons baking soda
(mix together until well blended and gelatinous--I think it's good when the coconut oil starts re-solidifying)
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 cups unbleached flour
2 1/2 cups steel cut toasted oats (I use Coach's Oats brand from Costco)
1 cup non-dairy chocolate chips (I threw away the bag so I can't remember the brand name but you can find them at a Sprouts/Whole Foods/Trader Joe's kind of place!)

Cream together sugars, coconut oil and almond butter, then add egg replacement mixture and mix well. Add baking soda, baking powder, salt and vanilla.  Add flour and oats and mix, then add chocolate chips.   The dough is sort of dry so pack it together in small balls and put on cookie sheet lightly greased with coconut oil.  Bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees. 

Enjoy!! Try these out and tell me what you think!

All my love, B.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

I know I know

Guys, I've already come to terms with the fact that I'm currently the worst and most unreliable blogger on the face of the known universe....I get it.  But read my previous post and maybe you'll understand and forgive me? Back soon lovelies.  In the meantime, watch this.

I mean, I certainly hope you've all already seen it.......multiple times.  But just now I watched it again for the 98349875973845th time and I realized that I still get chills.  Every. Single. Time. 

Your turn. For the first, or the bajillionth time, whichever.

all my love, B.