Thursday, November 29, 2012

This is everything.

Just a follow-up to last night's depressing post.
Sorry (but not too sorry) about all the Les Misérables posts as of late.
But I just watched THIS again:


This play is more than a mere story.
It is a testimony.

Do you hear the people sing
Lost in the valley of the night
It is the music of a people
Who are climbing to the light
For the wretched of the earth
There is a flame that never dies
Even the darkest night will end
And the sun will rise

They will live again in freedom
In the garden of the Lord
They will walk behind the ploughshare
They will put away the sword
The chains will be broken
And all men will have their reward

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see?
Do you hear the people sing?
Say, do you hear the distant drums?
It is the future that they bring when tomorrow comes! 
--------------------------------------------
When I lived in Paris, I had the opportunity to visit the home of Victor Hugo.
Unfortunately, it was closed for tours the day I was there, so I picnicked outside.
But I cannot express to you the overwhelming spirit of Christ and goodness that came from that place. What an inspired man. A few quotes from the book I intend to read cover to cover, highlight in profusely, and cherish like none other this coming Christmas holiday, with anticipation of the upcoming film:

“When love has fused and mingled two beings in a sacred and angelic unity, the secret of life has been discovered so far as they are concerned; they are no longer anything more than the two boundaries of the same destiny; they are no longer anything but the two wings of the same spirit. Love, soar.” 
~*~
“Diamonds are found only in the dark bowels of the earth; truths are found only in the depths of thought. It seemed to him that after descending into those depths after long groping in the blackest of this darkness, he had at last found one of these diamonds, one of these truths, and that he held it in his hand; and it blinded him to look at it.” 
~*~
“Nothing discernible to the eye of the spirit is more brilliant or obscure than man; nothing is more formidable, complex, mysterious, and infinite. There is a prospect greater than the sea, and it is the sky; there is a prospect greater than the sky, and it is the human soul.” 
~*~
“...We pray together, we are afraid together, and then we go to sleep. Even if Satan came into the house, no one would interfere. After all, what is there to fear in this house? There is always one with us who is the strongest. Satan may visit our house, but the good Lord lives here.” 
~*~
“If you wish to understand what Revolution is, call it Progress; and if you wish to understand what Progress is, call it Tomorrow.” 
~*~
“...Can human nature be so entirely transformed inside and out? Can man, created by God, be made wicked by man? Can a soul be so completely changed by its destiny, and turn evil when its fate is evil? Can the heart become distorted, contract incurable deformities and incurable infirmities, under the pressure of disproportionate grief, like the spinal column under a low ceiling? Is there not in every human soul a primitive spark, a divine element, incorruptible in this world and immortal in the next, which can be developed by goodness, kindled, lit up, and made to radiate, and which evil can never entirely extinguish.” 
~*~
“There is a determined though unseen bravery that defends itself foot by foot in the darkness against the fatal invasions of necessity and dishonesty. Noble and mysterious triumphs that no eye sees, and no fame rewards, and no flourish of triumph salutes. Life, misfortunes, isolation, abandonment, poverty, are battlefields that have their heroes; obscure heroes, sometimes greater than the illustrious heroes.” 

I certainly needed to read and hear these words today.
I'm finding hope.

All my love, B.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Brief explanation

My sincerest apologies to you dear readers who are faithfully checking in to see if I've updated yet, only to find out that....I haven't.

I am truly sorry for my prolonged absence from this social sphere.  I'm afraid I must admit that I have not written, read, or stalked any blogs in a few weeks.  

I logged onto my bloglovin' account a few days ago to find that I had THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN unread blog posts.  Yes, 387! 

I'm happy to know that even though I've been off in my own world, the blogosphere continues on.

I have had to take some time for myself.  Satan is trying so very hard to get me down.  He knows that my mission papers are being submitted next week, and like my post from a few weeks ago describes in exhaustive detail, I don't function well when I am down.

But I'm trying to live.
To enjoy life.
To make friends.
To strengthen  my vitally important relationship with my Savior.
And to just make it through the semester.

I know I say this at least once a year, but it is absolutely safe to say that Heavenly Father reserved this particular trial for me at this particular time, and I am being stretched and pulled in more directions than I knew existed.

One of those directions is not finding the ability to get out of bed.
To be ABSOLUTELY unmotivated to get anything done until I have absolutely no time left.
To let the smallest discomforts discourage me from fulfilling basic daily tasks.

This is not me. And I'm determined to prove it.

I will finish writing these last 16 lines of my french composition.
I will get 5 hours of sleep.
And then I will wake up tomorrow ready for a new outlook on life, with the Savior by my side and the certainty of a bright future ahead if I am living the way I should be.
And I will know that though I am sad, I am NOT weak.
For the greater the ability I have to feel pain, the more infinite the capacity I have to one day feel true joy.

But this blog may not be a part of that for awhile.

But I hope it will be again in the very near future.

In the meantime, if there are any of you who are struggling through anything similar, please don't hesitate to tell me.  I may be in my own personal little circle of hell at the moment, not knowing which way is up, but what I've said since the very beginning still stands: Even if I don't know who you are, I love you very much. And the Savior does too, and if you ever need an outlet, don't hesitate to get in contact with me.

This video is not about trial per se, but being reminded of the fundamentals of who I am and what my purpose is here in this life is always an immense help.

I also invite you to check out one of my best friend's blogs, Joy in the Journey, particularly her "Parable of the Teacup post." She is one of the strongest girls I have ever known, currently fighting one of the hardest personal battles I have ever learned of, and she is one. talented. writer.

Back soon, with a refreshed perspective on life and a calmer heart, and with all my love,
B.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

So there you have it.

So I don't know about you, but for me watching debates and elections is almost more exciting and cutthroat than football.  Especially in a presidential race this close.  Call me crazy, but I really love politics, even when they disappoint me. 
I won't go into some big political rant about how irresponsible and stupid Americans are for voting someone back into office who has already done so much damage, that's not what this blog is for.

I'll just leave it at that I was among those who became extremely disappointed in America last night, but...

I recognize that Americans, for the most part, exercised their right to vote, and therefore I will support the man that was elected into office for the next four years, with a prayer in my heart that he manages to turn things around.

That being said, I think everyone, regardless of either (or neither!) party you identify yourself with, could benefit from thinking about how far America has strayed from where we started.  I know I sure learned a big lesson.  

The opening scene of HBO's new series, "The Newsroom" says it best. One of my best friends Ashley posted it last night and it absolutely brought me to tears and got me really thinking.  Don't be put off by the title of the video, but listen to the message.  I know it's TV, but there is so much truth in his words. Greatest food for thought I've found in a long time.

All my love, B.

**NOTE: This SHOULD be the edited version of this video.  Apologies to anyone who may have watched the heinous swearing in the version I put up first-got the wrong one, sorry!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Mommy dearest

Sorry for my recent absence, but not that sorry...
because I was spending time with one of the most fantastic ladies I know.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
Epcot center, age 15
Front lawn, graduation day, age 17
NYC, age 18
Today Show, NYC, age 18
Bluebonnets, aka my favorite picture of all time, age....I don't know.  Young.
(apologies for the color quality of some of these...all were taken long before my photo editing days)

I'll be the first to admit that it took a very long time...MUCH much longer than it should have for the relationship between my mother and I to be where it is now.  

I know that there will always be a few things here and there that we'll never agree upon, but as I've grown up I've come to realize something that I never let myself admit during my angsty, teenage years...

My mother is my greatest role model.

She gave up her entire life for her children, to raise them and love them the best way she knows how, and she's doing a top-notch job. I know that everything good that I am came from her, and when I have my own family, I'll be able to emulate all the things I love about her and add my own personal touches to how I will raise my children.

So, last weekend, I had the grand opportunity to to take her to some of my favorite places in Salt Lake, like eating at The Pie Pizzeria and taking her to see City Creek Center.  The next morning we went down to Payson to visit the cute Red Barn, who grows their own produce and makes their own ice cream and sells cute gifts :)

On that note, behold: The ONLY surviving picture of her trip:

We're cute.  I know.

Anyway, we ran lots of errands and finally, after working so hard and losing so much sleep, I let myself just get full on sick.  And it felt great to have my mommy there to take care of me.

Sunday, we had church together and then invited all the cousins over to my grandparents' house for dinner and catching up.

I've said goodbye to my mother dozens of times since moving out, and I'm always kind of just like, "Ok, see you next time, bye!"

But this time....I cried.  Oh, I cried so hard.  It broke my heart right in half driving away from where I left her at my grandparents' house, knowing that she would be in the state another twelve hours before her flight and because of class and work I wouldn't be able to spend any more last minutes with her.  

I cried when she hugged me goodbye and didn't want to let me go, and I didn't want to let go either.

I cried when she told me how proud she was of me and how far I've come and that she knew that eventually everything would be okay.

I cried when she took my hand, kissed it, set it on my cheek, and then leaned in to kiss my other cheek, just like she does to my baby brother.

I cried feeling like her baby again, especially after having pretended that I'm a grown-up for so long.

Good grief, I'm crying now thinking about it. 

42 days.

Sometimes your mom really is the only person that can fix it.

I love you, B.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Angels

**Word-heavy, emotion-laden post warning. Proceed with caution, but please do proceed.

Just for the record, I would like to point out that this post began at 4:04 a.m. on October 26, 2012 and I expect that I won't have it finished for at least a few more days.  But who knows.  Given that a large portion of this post will be devoted to the fact that I can't sleep (more on that later,) I may just have it done in time to get out the door by 8 a.m.

First off, I would like to apologize for the presence these "heavy" posts have had on this blog as of late.  If you stopped by Birdie in Paris for a quick "what sort of Provo tomfoolery is she up to tonight?" update, I'd save this particular post for another time.

Second, I would also like to apologize for the number of LDS (Mormon)-specific terms I will use here.  If you are confused, I highly encourage you to click the "I do believe" tab above or e-mail me with any questions that you may have.


via pinterest

Where to begin? I guess we could start at the fact that I have been trying relentlessly to calm my racing thoughts since I laid down at 1:30 (a.m.), hoping to get a less-than-average, yet adequate amount of sleep before going to the temple at 8 a.m., which I have been looking forward to as all of my a.m. classes have been canceled tomorrow. 

Or I could start on Saturday night, when the weight of the world which has been hovering just over my shoulders finally crashed down upon them, and even though I couldn't take it anymore, I still woke up the next morning and lived life as usual.

Or I could even go back further and start when once again, like clockwork, in the third week of January I didn't sleep a wink for three nights straight.

Or even further back, when my family, dating and friendship life all saw fit to fall apart at the exact same time during my freshman year in college.

Or yet further, when the panic attacks started.

Or when, as a thirteen-year-old, I was one of THE only (as far as I knew) eighth-graders being treated for depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

I don't remember too far beyond that (at least, nothing that I'm comfortable enough to disclose here), but I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's no real defined moment when all this began, but in my 20 short years, I know that I have had several significant, defining, heart-shattering experiences that have all stemmed from or resulted in the same symptoms (depression, anxiety, and insomnia); symptoms which have been, more-or-less, present throughout the majority of my life. 

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I would like to tell you, hands down, without question, is my life's greatest trial.

Some suffer from addiction, some have eating disorders, some live in a broken home....
I have suffered from anxiety and the insomnia associated with it for as long as I can remember, and have experienced what surely seems like more than my fair share of depressive periods of time in my life. Throw this on top of the fact that I was born without a thyroid and have had to deal with the annoyance of four pills a day, consequential physical weaknesses that are largely beyond my control , and hypothyroidism's own special contribution to insomnia, and there are some periods of time where I've literally just....had it...with the body I live in.

I've heard the following said once or twice, so I'll briefly address this: If you're thinking that, among all the millions of possible trials that could have been selected for me, these are the relatively "easy" ones...perhaps you're right.  I guess I wouldn't really know any different.  But I can assure you that I have personally experienced significant and destructive effects in my family life, my friendships, my dating relationships, my testimony, and my overall morale and quality of life. So, yes, my parents are still happily married and love me very much, I have never taken unhealthy measures to control my weight, nor have I suffered the pains of addiction (not in any way to undermine that those are very real, very painful trials as well), but by that same token, nobody has experienced exactly what I have either.  And as I can only truly relate to pain through my own lens, I can and will very adamantly claim them as true sources of anguish.

Now, before leaving you thinking I'm some sort of walking zombie, or that I'm jumping at the next possible opportunity to throw myself in front of a train or something, allow me to reassure you that I am definitely not. I'll explain. I am fully capable of having unbelievable amounts of fun among friends, being the life of the party, and truly enjoying life. In fact, being truly, 100% happy with a genuine smile on my face is what most days of my life consists of!

So if this is true, why do I bring this up now? Because as this blog documents my life as it happens, I would be lying if i said the past three or four months have been this 100% happy state.  I really do try as hard as I possibly can to not make it known to anyone other than my absolute closest circle of friends and my parents, but...I don't know how to say it other than that lately I'm always just a little bit sad.  No matter how hard I've tried, I can't seem to get myself to 100%. Like I said, I genuinely have fun when I do fun things, but I don't handle "alone time" very well. I never know what insecurities or fears are going to jump out of the shadows when I am not busy with something or surrounded by people.  The best way to describe it is that I just feel heavy. All the time.  I know, and my Heavenly Father knows, that I have a plate more full than I've ever previously experienced this year, with being the Relief Society President of my ward, a full load of classes and a job...but countless of other women in my position, at my age, do it, so why can't I? Why can I not be strong and just fight through my personal pains and afflictions to be able to feel truly happy?

Which brings me to the true point of which I am writing to you dear readers tonight. For those of you who are just tuning in, I received the absolute shock of being called by Heavenly Father to lead the women of the Provo YSA 64th ward as Relief Society President. This call did not initially sit well with me, and I have worked, prayed, and fasted  more since June of this year to make the changes necessary to be a worthy leader than I ever have in my life. All this time, though I have been behaving and becoming better, I strangely have been feeling worse and less confident. But when our beloved Prophet made the historic announcement regarding the new missionary age, which fully renewed and solidified the lifelong desire I've had to serve, that is when my mood truly took a downward turn.

But I find great comfort in the fact that this time, I know why this is happening to me. I know very specifically the reason why my personal trials have returned. 

Satan knows he is losing me for good. And because he is no longer able to drag me down physically or behaviorally, he is doing everything in his power to ensure that I don't have control over my emotions or my mood. 
I won't go into specifics, but like everyone else I have made mistakes.  During times when I would allow my illnesses and self-doubt to let me lose hope, I've even made serious mistakes.

But for the first time in my life since I can remember, I am making an active effort to do everything right. I have removed so many bad habits from my life, changed the way I speak, the way I dress, the way I interact with people, I attend the temple every week....and you know what?

It feels so good to be good.
I am so comforted knowing that I am able to recognize that this time, it is the adversary playing on the emotional turmoil I am already intimately familiar with, but unfortunately, that doesn't make it hurt any less. Every day feels like an uphill journey.  I see a light at the end of the tunnel, but until I find the solution, the farther I run, the farther away the light gets. 

So here is what I KNOW:

  • Deciding to serve a mission is going to make life a lot harder before it gets easier, but
  • I am SO very fortunate.  Heavenly Father has placed true guardian angels in my life to lift me up and guide me through these dark times.  I would be truly lost without righteous Priesthood holders who are ready at a moment's notice to give blessings of comfort whenever needed, and without my mother and nearest and dearest friends, who have all graciously and unselfishly provided literal and figurative shoulders to cry on.
  • I am above my past trials.  My life has improved so drastically from the way it once was, and my major sins and issues of the past are completely removed from my current self.  I am 5000% on the Lord's team today, and I know as long as that's true that this current storm is not a result of my own personal shortcomings, and that with His help, the Lord will have blessings in store more perfect and incredible than I can possibly imagine today. There will be a way out. 
  • That way out is this: Heavenly Father is more aware than I can possibly comprehend as to how I am feeling right now, and through His Infinite Atonement I can literally overcome any adversity. 
  • I have felt the sweet blessings of this Infinite Atonement several times in my life in regard to sin, but Christ's sacrifice was intended to cover all adversity. Every sadness, sickness, fear, lack of confidence.....everything.  He suffered every last moment.  So I know that after I've done all I can do, I can surrender this sadness to Him and know that slowly but surely, with His help it will subside.  My testimony has never been more sure and my faith more strong regarding this.
So in the meantime, don't worry about me. This post was by no means a call for pity or concern, but a very long and wordy way of saying that this has been my struggle as of late. But I am, with my Heavenly Father's help, definitely on the mend.  I have a strong testimony that when I finally reach that light at the end of the tunnel, I won't look back.  But if I were to look back, I would see twists and turns that though difficult, made me spiritually, physically and mentally stretch and grow into the person I am at that point, and I will feel nothing but relief that the trial is over and gratitude for the opportunity I had to learn, to become humble, and to draw closer unto my Savior. 

I hope you feel the love of the Savior, and His complete and perfect understanding of everything you may be suffering as strongly as I have been.  He is real.  He loves you and me beyond comprehension, and He has incredible things in store for us.

In closing, my mother is coming into town in about 5 hours, and we're going to see my favorite sites in my favorite place, Salt Lake City!  I just can't stay away :)  In light of everything that's been happening, how perfect is the timing of this visit? Let's just hope I get better rest while she's here. 

All my love, B.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

A thursday

...sometimes just needs to consist of walking around town with two of your best friends dressed as timeless storybook characters, you know?



All my love, B.

Matthew gorgeous Bellamy

HOW did I miss that Muse's entire new album is already out?
Muse's Resistance tour concert in Dallas in 2010 was my first rock concert,
and though my music taste has changed ever so slightly since then (ok, a lot.)
I can always get down to Matt Bellamy's French Opera-trained voice and flawless falsetto.

Listen and love, my dears. Listen and love.

All my love, B.

p.s. What is sleep? I think with all the dry, APA style, social science-specific essays I've been forced to write this semester I have lost all familiarity with the concept of a night's rest that consists of more than 4 hours. And since APA allows for literally no personality or freedom, I feel my identity as a writer slowly flying away, never to return....until after these classes are over, at least. Meh. Bye.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

And then we went glamping.

Here's just a little equation to help you out:
Glamping = glam girls + camping + total preparedness = just what our weekend needed.

 Not entirely sure why either of these turned out grainy :( oh well...

 beautiful crisp morning
 so....maybe I couldn't help myself and I brought a banner to decorate our campsite
 lookout point
 cuuuuuuuute
 masterpiece
 If you know the joke behind the awkward balloon, maybe you'll appreciate this photo. 
If not......just don't ask haha. But while we're looking at this:
plaid: PacSun
grey: WalMart
jeggings: cotton on
men's camp socks: UO
duck boots: Academy
blue jacket: Patagonia
black jacket: NorthFace
scarf: cotton on
hat: F21
gloves: BYU bookstore. Yup.
Annnddddd the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

So how did YOU spend your friday night/saturday morning?

All my love, B.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Jean K Jean

After annihilating my first french midterm, this is how I feel.


Laters.

All my love, B.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Autumn






Try and tell me there's not magic in the air.
I'm officially sold on Utah for good.

All my love, B.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

called to serve

I speak often of my religion on this blog, as it is literally the biggest part of what makes me who I am.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gather together all over the world this weekend to listen to the inspired messages of our leaders, I invite you readers who may have questions about what I believe to read more about it.  

I wholeheartedly invite you to listen in, as these messages are for everybody who wants to hear.

This morning our dear Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, dropped some big news on the members of the church.  For decades, the set age for missionaries has been 19 for men and 21 for women.  But today, in a glorious, wonderful, marvelously inspired message, we men were invited to begin serving at 18 and women at 19. 19!!!!!
Here is the historic announcement...my heart still starts racing and I get teary-eyed every time I see it. 



I have felt impressed to serve a mission for almost two years now, but as I've gotten closer to 21, the timeline of my life just wasn't adding up, and my active motivation to do so I could feel starting to wane, even though I knew it was still right for me.

I know I'm already 20, but I have been crying with joy all morning to know that I don't have to wait all the way until July.  This truly solves almost every one of my anxieties about the years to come. Starting my mission papers in January and heading out to serve our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in any capacity he needs me starting as early as April! 6 months from now, I will be officially on the Lord's errand!

I will change my life for the better, starting now, so that I can feel perfectly worthy to go through the temple and receive all the blessings our Heavenly Father has in store, so that I may go be a servant in His hands.








Every last bit of my joyful love, B.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Romney Style!

I figured I'd post this before it blows up all over facebook.

Amidst all the fighting and political fights happening in the aftermath of the debate, I thought we all needed to lighten up.

*DISCLAIMER: Two swear words, use your discretion.
*DISCLAIMER: I'm also a Romney supporter, so I'm really just posting this for laughs. I fully recognize, as a fellow Latter-Day Saint, that this is a gross misrepresentation of his actual lifestyle. Again, just for kicks and giggles.


All my love, B.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Normal

Another feelings post. Head's up.

I guess you could call today another one of those uphill days. I talked earlier about how there are some days when I am absolutely certain that this is not my ball game and I am totally out of my zone this year? Exhibit A: September 30, 2012. 

After a long week of literally working myself into the ground and the onset of my annual start-of-cold-weather sickness, followed by a long morning of church meetings, I was able to come home early and sleep it all off a little.

So this evening I went to eat at my aunt's house
(By aunt, I mean my honorary Utah-aunt, Char, who was my roommate in France and lives with her darling husband in Draper. It's easier to just refer to her as my aunt than launching into the complicated story about how she uprooted her entire happily married life for six and a half weeks to study in France without her husband... so Char's just my aunt. Good? Good.)

The main point of this post is this:
When I came home after dinner and tried to go to our ward's weekly waffle party, I was finally able to put into words an off-feeling I've been having since the beginning of the semester.

I don't know what I could be doing different, or better, and I really want to...but I feel so disconnected.
I know it's my responsibility to get out there and get to know people, and socialize and set the best possible example. But I'm worried I'm giving off some air of unavailability or disinterest, and it absolutely breaks my heart when I think that I might be conducting myself in a way that makes people feel like I don't want to know what is going on in their lives.

I guess at this point, I just want to make it abundantly clear that I want nothing more than to know you.
My life is a hectic, crazy mess at the moment, but I want to be a good leader, an available, loving, righteous example of a leader too.

I want everyone to know the following: 
even though I've been assigned to and accepted a role of leadership and high scrutiny,

I am just like you. I can't stress this enough.
I buy tickets to go to see Imagine Dragons and Awolnation and completely forget that the General Relief Society broadcast is the same night.
I'm a pretty terrible driver.
My face looks like a pepperoni pizza at the moment.
I have She's the Man pajama party movie nights with my best friends.
I'm not perfect. In fact, I'll come right out and say it: 
If I haven't done it, I can guarantee I've wanted to.
I have an extensive list of very real, very scary skeletons in my proverbial closet.  I have worked day and night to overcome these things for years and years, but I still have off days. So please understand that if you catch me red-handed wearing something I shouldn't or saying something less-than-acceptable, please understand that this a mistake, and no longer a habit.
So for this reason,
I'll never judge you.  Literally. There is 100% absolutely nothing you could possibly say that would take me by surprise or make me think you're less of a person. Unless you, like, chainsaw massacred an entire village while cracked up on cocain. Or something like that. But I don't see this being an issue.
Yes, I'm stressed, but that doesn't make me unavailable. I average a cool 3-4 hours of sleep per night, thanks to homework and my uncanny ability to stall until the last second, but it's in the job description to be always happy and willing to talk.  And I absolutely am.  If I am doing my job to do everything in my power to put a smile on your face, everything else will inevitably take care of itself. Don't ever feel like you're putting another thing on my plate by wanting to come over and have a conversation.  
Any step towards a new friendship is never a waste of time.

As I mentioned in my About me tab,
I already love you, even if I don't know you yet.
From the bottom of my heart, this is absolutely true.

I've had a pathetic lack of photos here on the blog for the past little while, so I guess since I haven't officially unveiled my new darker and shorter hair, hereyago:

cute friends at the ID concert in SLC
shirt: F21, 

weekend trip to grandpa's medical conference
Shirt: Cotton On sunglasses:rayban

Fun friends on the lawn watching the Holy War game
shirt: UO

Go get a good night's sleep to end this beautiful, warm Sunday, and get ready for another awesome week!
All my love, B.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Soundtrack

A brief introduction to the music that is going to keep me company during my long hours of homework and research this afternoon.

Discovered this gem thanks to this cute blog

Already planning on making a hipster-esque video montage to this song as I'm driving down the Provo canyon roads in various weather conditions.

To be played at my wedding, no doubt.

Shared previously on this blog, but I just will never get over that instrumental. Brings tears to my eyes almost every time. Or goosebumps at the very least.

So forgive me for jumping on this bandwagon, but I really can't wait to go see this concert on Saturday


Love love love.



I can't handle his twangy voice on every song, but oh my lands this one is breathtaking


Again, just...love.

All my love, B.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Would you forgive me...

That my blog doesn't really have a format, and I never actually really plan on that happening?
No day-of-the-week posts, "fashion fridays" or anything like that?
Birdie in Paris is just me and my random rants, if that's ok.

That I'm the most awkward person alive, and I had every girl's worst nightmare happen to me today?
I won't mention it here because it's wayyyyyy TMI, but let's just say it had very much to do with this time of the month and we'll just leave it at that.

If I said I'm sorry for not being the most devoted blogger? 
Because honestly I'm kind of dying over here...with 6 classes, 1 and a half jobs, RSP duties and whatnot...
Can't do it all people, but I can sure try.

But in the meantime, just listen to the beauty that is Marcus Mumford et al. during my absence.


And read and appreciate the following news:
THIS CHICK HAS AN APPOINTMENT SET FOR HER LASIK SURGERY THE 17TH OF THIS VERY DECEMBER.
Yes, my days of -6.75 prescription are coming to an end!

All my love, B.