Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Brief explanation

My sincerest apologies to you dear readers who are faithfully checking in to see if I've updated yet, only to find out that....I haven't.

I am truly sorry for my prolonged absence from this social sphere.  I'm afraid I must admit that I have not written, read, or stalked any blogs in a few weeks.  

I logged onto my bloglovin' account a few days ago to find that I had THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-SEVEN unread blog posts.  Yes, 387! 

I'm happy to know that even though I've been off in my own world, the blogosphere continues on.

I have had to take some time for myself.  Satan is trying so very hard to get me down.  He knows that my mission papers are being submitted next week, and like my post from a few weeks ago describes in exhaustive detail, I don't function well when I am down.

But I'm trying to live.
To enjoy life.
To make friends.
To strengthen  my vitally important relationship with my Savior.
And to just make it through the semester.

I know I say this at least once a year, but it is absolutely safe to say that Heavenly Father reserved this particular trial for me at this particular time, and I am being stretched and pulled in more directions than I knew existed.

One of those directions is not finding the ability to get out of bed.
To be ABSOLUTELY unmotivated to get anything done until I have absolutely no time left.
To let the smallest discomforts discourage me from fulfilling basic daily tasks.

This is not me. And I'm determined to prove it.

I will finish writing these last 16 lines of my french composition.
I will get 5 hours of sleep.
And then I will wake up tomorrow ready for a new outlook on life, with the Savior by my side and the certainty of a bright future ahead if I am living the way I should be.
And I will know that though I am sad, I am NOT weak.
For the greater the ability I have to feel pain, the more infinite the capacity I have to one day feel true joy.

But this blog may not be a part of that for awhile.

But I hope it will be again in the very near future.

In the meantime, if there are any of you who are struggling through anything similar, please don't hesitate to tell me.  I may be in my own personal little circle of hell at the moment, not knowing which way is up, but what I've said since the very beginning still stands: Even if I don't know who you are, I love you very much. And the Savior does too, and if you ever need an outlet, don't hesitate to get in contact with me.

This video is not about trial per se, but being reminded of the fundamentals of who I am and what my purpose is here in this life is always an immense help.

I also invite you to check out one of my best friend's blogs, Joy in the Journey, particularly her "Parable of the Teacup post." She is one of the strongest girls I have ever known, currently fighting one of the hardest personal battles I have ever learned of, and she is one. talented. writer.

Back soon, with a refreshed perspective on life and a calmer heart, and with all my love,

1 comment:

Ashley said...

Mon petit chouchou. I am so lucky to know you. I love you so very much. I miss you so very much. And as the president of your fan club, I know full well how incredibly strong of a person you are, and how incredibly strong of a testimony you have. You can do this.

P.S. YOU are the talented writer here...But thank you.

Gros bisous,
Ashley xxoo